How I See It – Owning My Story

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.” Brene Brown 

I look back now and can see that owning my story didn’t come easily.

Prior to age 30 or so I would say I had a history of not only avoiding my own story but also getting lost in other people’s stories. And for me, as Brene Brown says, it turned out to be a much harder path.

When I was in my early 30’s, living back in the Syracuse area, I had a reunion with a bunch of my friends from grad school. During one of the weekend dinners, I shared a story about how I was doing a lot of hard work on my relationships with my mom and even my (estranged) dad. I shared that I felt overwhelmed with anxiety. My friends, who knew me very well, were surprised to learn about my struggles!

In the past I wasn’t hiding my struggles on purpose, I just wasn’t openly expressing myself and my feelings. I would describe things about myself in a very detached way. I wasn’t ready to step inside of myself and to own and feel my true feelings.

Of course, life has a way of occasionally demanding us to wake up and see where we’ve been hiding from ourselves. It took some pretty major circumstances (a brutal divorce and relocation with my infant daughter to start a new life as a single mom) for me to be willing to take a closer look. I knew that wanted to heal. I wanted to be free.

Now I share my story more than ever before, but I still am gentle with myself. It’s a process. The best part is the more I share, the more safe and connected I feel.

Thank you and I look forward to hearing more about your story as we continue this journey together.

Read about my fascinating conversation with Dr. Barbara Green on owning our stories.

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