“I swore my loyalty to me, myself, and I.” –  Taylor Swift, ” The Fate of Ophelia”

In full disclosure, I haven’t been a lifelong Swiftie. But watching her romantic life unfold in the context of Travis Kelce has definitely piqued my interest.

So much so that for the first time, I rushed to stream her new album, The Life of a Showgirl, the day it was released!

The first song on the album, “The Fate of Ophelia,” was enough to get me hooked.

When Taylor Swift sings “I swore my loyalty to me, myself and I”, she’s doing more than sharing an emotional sentiment. She’s revealing a universal truth: before you can attract aligned love, you must first belong to yourself.

A Line Easily Overlooked — and Why It Matters

Swift is well known for her incredible lyrics and songwriting abilities.

I think the song “The Fate of Ophelia” is a masterpiece. What a gift to be able to write and share your feelings and thoughts, and to create a story that hooks everyone so quickly!

I first listened to the song probably 10 times in a row, singing along to the chorus, which had become deeply ingrained in my brain after the first listen. (If you’ve heard it, I’m sure you can relate!)

But one line quietly stood out to me in the background, a line that might hold the key to a deeper storyline:

“I swore my loyalty to me, myself, and I.”

To me, this lyric is a declaration. It’s a moment of energetic alignment. An empowering moment when a woman reclaims her power, not by closing her heart, but by coming home to herself.

And, almost poetically, not long after that internal vow… love arrived. (Cue the magical, mystical universe… Because in my experience, this is precisely how love works.)

 ** Read about my story here.

Taylor Swift’s Ophelia: What It Means to Pledge Yourself to Yourself

What does it mean exactly to pledge yourself to yourself, and why was Swift feeling the need to do this at that time in her life?

She is famously known for a long list of past loves. I can imagine it’s hard for anyone to have to go through that feeling over and over again. Unfortunately, I went through something similar. (And it was excruciating!!)

At some point, you hit the wall and decide something needs to change, and maybe that’s what prompted her to choose to make that pledge on the Fourth of July.

But to pledge yourself to yourself is different from ordinary self-care.

It’s not about doing more, it’s about being more you.

To me, it’s a sacred commitment that says:

“I will no longer abandon myself for love, approval, or belonging.” (Amen)

This really hits home. Abandoning yourself is a painful path that ultimately leads to an unfortunate ending, in my experience.

Pledging yourself to yourself means: I’m finally going to put honoring myself at the center of my world. I’m going to embrace my story, full stop—no need to define myself based on the partner I choose. I’m finally stepping into my worth – with both feet firmly planted on the ground!

It’s a big shift, but when we make that shift, everything changes.

We stop chasing love and begin embodying it.

We stop negotiating our worth and start radiating it.

We stop performing for affection and begin attracting it effortlessly.

This is the heart of The New Lens Method™ — the idea that when you change the lens through which you see yourself, the world reflects that change right back to you.

Seeing Through the Lens of Worthiness

So many women struggle with the idea of ” self-ownership.”

The feeling of lack and loss of power can be deeply ingrained. We still carry ethers from older generations, where women had little to no power to claim.

We now know that we cannot attract our match in love if that is our belief system. This is because we’re operating from a position of lack and seeking others to define who we are.

But the truth is that there is no shortcut. We must navigate the path of embodiment and cultivate deep, authentic, through-and-through self-love to magnetize our highest life.

In The New Lens Method™, the Lens of Worthiness invites us to remember what was never lost – our inherent value.

When we see ourselves through this lens, our perspective shifts from “Am I enough?” to “I always was enough.”

“Self-confidence and self-worth go hand in hand and make you magnetic to the right person.“ — from “Become Magnetic: Be PROUD and Declare Your Self-Worth Out Loud,“ Maria Erving — Transformational Teacher.r

Thankfully, our brains can rewire.

I’ve said this many times, but neuroplasticity is one of the most significant discoveries of the past 30 years. The fact that we are capable of rewiring our deeply ingrained beliefs is no short of a miracle.

Psychologist and neuroscientist Dr. Tara Swart has written about how self-belief and emotional safety can powerfully rewire the brain.

And when we create an internal sense of belonging, our nervous system calms.

Our body and energy signal to the world: “I am safe to love and be loved.”

This is more than an emotional transformation. It’s a biological one.

Key Belief: “I will no longer abandon myself for love, approval, or belonging.”

If I had a penny for every time I spoke to a client or a friend (myself included) over the years who’s been there, I would be a very wealthy woman.

But why is it that we’re abandoning ourselves? What is it that makes us feel that we have to leave behind who we are to belong with someone else? I know this is a big question and not something I can fully tackle in this piece.

Still, I wanted to shine a light for a moment on the idea of self-abandonment and its far-reaching implications.

When we are disconnected from ourselves, that doesn’t just affect us. It also affects those around us, including our children, and has a lasting impact on the world around us.

We turn away from the vulnerable, innocent version of us who is just waiting for us to claim her. And this true version of us holds the key to our wonderful uniqueness. We need to commit to her and promise to always carry her with us, no matter what.

The feeling of deep acceptance and total reclaiming is one of the most direct ways to move toward our highest, biggest dreams. 

Taylor Swift’s “Ophelia” Teaches Us About the Magnetism of Self-Loyalty and Devotion

“Life is not just happening to us; we are creating it with everything that we do.”

― Tara Swart, The Source: Open Your Mind, Change Your Life 

Deep self-devotion is magnetic.

It’s the energy of being in alignment — not striving, not chasing, simply existing as your true frequency.

From an energetic perspective (and yes, even a quantum one), like attracts like.

When you’re rooted in worthiness, you naturally attract people and experiences that reflect the same vibration.

I also think of self-devotion in terms of honoring our inner child and the essence of who we are, deep down inside.

It’s not on the surface. It’s not a superficial quality of someone who is obsessively thinking of themselves.  Actually, it’s the opposite.  To truly be the full embodiment of who you are, you must connect with your core self. You embrace your essence. Therefore, you can embrace the essence of the other people in your life.

Also, it’s nice to remember that the person you want is also looking for you.

They do not want someone who needs them to fill in the gaps in every place they feel lacking. They don’t want someone who will use their advantages to elevate themselves. They seek the”hidden gold” that is inside of you, that is rare and truly you.

Maybe what happened with Taylor is part of a universal truth:

When we stop seeking external validation, love— in all its forms—finds us more quickly.

I’ve witnessed this same transformation in coaching clients who, after finally choosing themselves, attract partnerships, opportunities, and a sense of peace that feels aligned.

They stop asking, “When will love come?“ and start realizing, “Love was within me all along.”

🌷 A Reflection for You

If you were to pledge yourself to yourself today, how would that sound?

Here’s something that may inspire you:

I honor where I came from, totally and completely. And I honor the path that led me to the moment that I am in today. I honor the spirit inside of me that soars, and fully commit to embracing and honoring myself — always and forever. I will always be my greatest cheerleader and best friend. I will tenderly mother myself when I need that too. And I will cherish my feelings and care for them tenderly. I will live my life as if I am enough, because I know I am.

Here are a few more thoughts:

• “I pledge to trust my timing.“
• “I pledge to speak gently to myself.”
• “I pledge to no longer shrink to be loved.“
• “I pledge to live as if I already am enough.”

Take a moment to write your own. 

Because every time you honor that vow, you strengthen your energetic signature, and that makes you radiant.

The New Lens Moment

So many of us wait for love to complete us.

But perhaps, as Taylor reminds us, love finds us when we finally belong to ourselves.

When you pledge your ultimate loyalty to yourself, you stop trying to get love and start becoming it.

That’s what it means to see through a new lens.

✨ Journal Prompt:

“Where” in my life am I still waiting for someone else’s approval,  and what would it look like to pledge myself back to me?”

Let me know what you think!

I’d love to hear.