There are moments in life when the next step doesn’t fully make sense on paper. Still, something inside feels unmistakably clear, and you know you’re heading in a new direction that’s more aligned with your truest dreams. Trusting the journey is the secret.

I often think about the time in my life when I chose to move from upstate New York to Boston as a single mom. On the surface, it seemed logical to stay where I was. Close to family and rooted in a life I had already built. But something deeper kept nudging me forward.

I had a vision of living in a city. I could see myself walking down busy streets, building a successful practice, and creating a home that reflected who I was deep inside. It wasn’t just about geography. I think it was more about identity.

I could see a version of myself there. And once I saw her, I couldn’t unsee her.

The Difference Between Impulse and Inner Knowing

From the outside, a decision like that can look risky, even impractical.

But I’ve learned there is a real difference between impulsive change and grounded vision.

Impulsivity often stems from discomfort — a desire to escape quickly. Vision comes from alignment — moving toward something that feels deeply true.

This particular idea lived inside me for years. It would surface when I visited cities like Boston or New York. I would notice how excited I felt in those environments. Sometimes a movie, a photograph, or even a conversation would stir the feeling again. It wasn’t pressure necessarily. It was recognition.

Eventually, the clarity became stronger than the fear.

I was 38 when I finally made the move. I was a single mom in the middle of rebuilding. And the obstacles were real. My daughter changing schools, a new practice to build, a support system to create from scratch. But I had made peace with the imperfection of the path before I even started walking it.

When hard days came, I didn’t allow myself to spiral into Did I make the wrong choice? I had already decided: this is right for me. That certainty was its own kind of armor.

I’ve realized that when we make choices aligned with our deeper truth, we may still encounter challenges, but we don’t experience the same internal conflict. We are inside the experience rather than resisting it. Clarity holds the key to momentum.

Motherhood as Modeling

One of the biggest shifts I had to make was in how I understood what it meant to be a good mother. The old story said: sacrifice everything. Put your dreams on a shelf. That’s what devotion means.

But my teachers, the therapists, coaches, and mentors who walked alongside me, offered a different perspective. They said: The most important thing is that you live fully, because your daughter is watching.

She would learn from me what a woman’s life could look like. What it meant to honor your own knowing, even when everyone around you pushed back.

If she were in my shoes someday, I would want her to live her dream. So I had to live mine.

That reframe changed everything. Motherhood isn’t martyrdom. It’s modeling.

I think that when children see us listening to ourselves, making thoughtful decisions, and building lives aligned with our values, they internalize permission to do the same. Living fully is not selfish. It is instructive.

What Now? Trusting the Journey and Next Chapter Before You Can See It

Many women reach a moment in life where something begins to shift internally. The roles that once defined us begin to change. Children grow. Relationships evolve. Careers plateau or expand.

And beneath the surface, a quiet question emerges: What now?

This is where inner knowing becomes especially important. You may not yet have a fully formed vision, but you feel a subtle pull toward something more aligned.

It might show up as curiosity about a different way of living, a longing for deeper peace or purpose, a desire for more meaningful relationships, or the sense that the current chapter is complete.

These feelings are not signs that something is wrong. They are signals that something new is emerging.

This is also where I often see women struggling most with love. After years of defining themselves through motherhood, they wonder: Am I worthy of something new? Is it too late?

It is not too late. And worthiness is never the question. It is always the answer.

Finding Love Again: The Real Work

After nearly 14 years of being single, I met my husband at 44. And the first question people always ask is: How?

Here’s what I know to be true: it happened because of where I was internally. Not because I finally looked a certain way or achieved a certain status. I was in a very fulfilling time in my life. I was doing meaningful philanthropic work in Boston schools. And I felt genuinely grateful when I woke up. I wasn’t out searching. I was living.

That’s not coincidence. That’s energy.

So many women believe love will come when they lose the weight, earn the promotion, or finally feel “ready.” But worthiness doesn’t come from accomplishments. It comes from doing the inner work of releasing what’s blocking you from believing you deserve it at all.

Here’s the two-step process I walk my clients through:

Step 1: See your story clearly. What is the lens you’re looking through when it comes to love? Do you believe you’re truly lovable — deeply, not conditionally? Most of us carry old beliefs we’ve never questioned. The work begins by naming them. Bringing them into the light. Asking: Is this actually true?

Step 2: Build the vision, and feel it. Once you’ve acknowledged what’s blocking you, you can begin to imagine differently. What would your life look like with the right partner? How would she feel waking up? What does her weekend look like? How does her partner treat her?

You’re not daydreaming. You’re building the emotional reality before the physical one arrives. Because you have to believe it to see it. Not the other way around.

The Art of Letting Go

Here’s the piece most people miss: true vision is more spacious than rigid goal-setting. It’s less about controlling every detail and more about allowing yourself to imagine, trust, and let go.

Vision provides direction but also leaves space to things to come in.

I used to be very specific about what I wanted in a partner. Someone with roots in the Boston area. And then, looking back, I finally let go of the how. I put my intention out into the world and released the outcome.

Very soon after, I met my husband. A guy from Seattle, visiting Boston for a weekend to see his daughters at college, in a bar. He was the right person for me. Not exactly what I envisioned in the details, but right in the ways that truly matter.

I believe that’s the secret sauce: clear intention, openness to the outcome. You are not alone in this process. There is a co-creator at work. Your role is to do the inner work, hold the vision, and trust what you cannot yet see.

Trusting the Journey — The Biggest Lesson of My Life

If there’s one thing I’ve learned through all of it — the move, the single years, finding love, building a coaching practice out of a life of optometry — it’s this:

I am not alone, even when I feel that I am.

There were hard seasons when I wondered if I was carrying everything by myself. But looking back, I can see that I never was. I was always guided. The right people showed up. The right doors opened. Not always on my timeline, but always at the right time.

Inner work doesn’t eliminate uncertainty. But it strengthens your ability to move through uncertainty with conviction and trust.

I had to develop that trust, which didn’t come easily, as I’d felt I’d made mistakes in my life leading up to that point. But it became the foundation for every good decision I’ve made, and every good thing that followed.

If you’re in a season of transition right now where maybe your kids have left, things are shifting, or love feels impossibly far away — here’s what I want you to know:

You’re not stuck. My teacher, Martha Beck, says you’re in the “in between time”.

The dissolving is part of it. The not-knowing is part of it. On the other side of this season is a version of you that you haven’t met yet.

You may not need a completely new plan. You may simply need a new lens.

I recently shared more of this story on the This Empty Nest Life podcast. You can listen to the full conversation here.