You might think I’m losing it! But I’m genuinely so excited about turning 50.
Why? Because I’m here. I made it! I feel like I’ve been on an obstacle course in some ways. I’ve had to swim across a few rivers and walk across a few tightropes to get to where I am right now.
And if I’m being honest, there were some very tough years, and I’d even say a challenging decade or two.
Yet, hidden inside each of these challenges were incredible lessons I needed to learn. I guess that’s life. We have to find our way through whatever comes our way. I can see now how all of these experiences are a gift. And that feels pretty great.
One of the biggest changes in turning 50 is having an empty nest. I know some women struggle with this adjustment. For me, this change has feels healthy. My daughter and I enjoy a much closer relationship, as I’ve been able (gratefully) to become a trusted ally versus a rule-setting parent. We’ve earned this relationship, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Uniquely, something new about turning 50 was that I no longer had my list of endless responsibilities. (I left my practice, my daughter moved away). At first, that felt strange. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. But, now I embrace it! I have time to pursue new interests (like this blog!). And I’m excited to work with non-profits. I want to spend my time doing exactly what I want to do, and that also feels pretty great.
I’m looking forward to all of the experiences that lie ahead.
Looking back at my 4-year-old self:
I feel overwhelming gratitude when I look at this little girl in my picture. It feels like she and I have lived lifetimes together. But I can see her and say, “Look at you! You’re here! You’ve come so far, and it hasn’t always been easy. But you’re gritty and have worked your way through. I’m so proud of you!” And to think I’m just getting started! It excites me to see that there’s still so much ahead.
Maybe 50 is an excuse to take a pause. It’s a chance to look back, feel grateful for the guiding energy and grace shown to me during the highs and the lows, and look forward with joyful anticipation. I can’t believe I’m turning 50 today! Right now, sitting in my office, I can see two things for sure: I’m here, where I belong, and I feel blessed.