Rosy Retrospection – See Why The Here and Now Is Actually Better Than You Think
Rosy retrospection. Hmmm, okay?! What exactly is that?
According to Mark Travers, Ph. D. of Psychology Today, “Psychologists refer to a flawed thought pattern known as rosy retrospection. It is a well-studied cognitive bias. It happens because when we think about the past, we are more likely to think about people, events, places, and things in the abstract. And, when we think about things in the abstract, we are more likely to focus on positive generalities than the nitty-gritty and sometimes gory details.”
So basically, our brains sift out the bad stuff, leaving us with warm, fuzzy memories. We look at those old family photos and think, “Ahhh… those were the good old days. Look at how happy I was here! And my brother and I are smiling and having a great time together in this photo!”
But is that reality? Or did I block out how I was going through a terrible breakup and feeling all kinds of angst at that time? Oh, and yes, my brother and I were smiling in the photo – but just a few minutes earlier, we were bickering over whose turn it was to do the dishes.
How is rosy retrospection a good thing?
So how is rosy retrospection a good thing? Well…let’s start with childbirth (hello!). I can see how abstract thinking can be very helpful. We can remember the emotional overwhelm of that magical experience while forgetting some other details.
Another positive is it might enhance our confidence and self-esteem. Like when you look back at photos of yourself in your prom dress and think about how amazing that night was. And how your high school experience wasn’t nearly as horrifying as you might recall.
Carrying thoughts and images in your mind of how good things were may help you to keep more pep in your step.
And how rosy retrospection doesn’t serve us today:
Rosy retrospective can also create a negative slant. We only focus on what was when we missed the good old days. Our day-to-day grind suddenly seems worse. The present moment can’t compare to our joyful, glorious past. We miss the chance to appreciate how good things are right now.
That’s a tough one to manage. When the past was that good – how can the present or the future ever measure up?
**For an interesting perspective on nostalgia, check out this article about Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart.
Interesting side note: We’re getting better with age.
Despite everything happening in our world today, it is still an abundantly good time to be on this planet. We’re living longer. We have more opportunities than ever before. Women are making huge strides and gaining much-deserved ground in all areas.
We’re connected in a global community. There’s a profound spiritual shift happening on this planet. We’re recognizing collective issues, and are finally taking a stand to make important, necessary changes. It’s not perfect – but it’s getting better.
And as we get older, our satisfaction with our lives improves. Emily Gersema of USC says, “Studies have argued that younger adults are less positive because they perceive time as expansive. They are more likely to focus on planning for the future, compared with older adults who have more of a present-moment approach to their lives.”
So, rosy retrospection is less of a factor for older adults because they find more happiness in the here and now. That’s something to continue to look forward to.
A few more thoughts:
When it comes to some of my family memories, it’s interesting. Right now, I’m in the process of organizing old photos of my daughter. When I look at her in that photo from the Minneapolis airport wearing her snoopy t-shirt, holding the snoopy statue’s hand, I feel nostalgia mixed with a touch of sadness.
I miss those days and look upon them lovingly. But truth be told, our relationship is now better than ever. I wouldn’t trade it.
It’s the present moment that holds all of the gifts. Maybe we can start by recognizing that we might sometimes over-glamorize the past. Seeing that the past wasn’t as perfect as we’d thought frees us to let it go gently.
We can settle into and fully enjoy the present moment – and see all of the beauty, rightness, joy, hopefulness, and connection in it- because it’s all we ever truly have.
Ps. Look here to see what rose colored glasses mean to me.
Do you have anything else to add? I’d love to hear from you! Please comment below.
Also, please forward this to someone who enjoys new and exciting perspectives.
(This story was originally published on October 2, 2021, and has been updated for thoroughness and clarity.)
I believe that it is always possible to find something positive, even when life is full of negatives.
I totally agree with the fact that the world now is not perfect, but it’s getting better! I really hope we find answers and solutions to many of the problems our planet and we face and this trend of things getting better continues!
It’s so interesting! I agree. We are moving forward in all ways.
I always try to remember how things actually were when they happened. It can be hard to do that all the time.
Yes so true.
I like this post. Recently I’ve been taking a long look at what I’m doing and why. It’s all a matter of perspective.
I feel you have to find positive things in your life every day. There is way to much negativity in society. You have to find your own positive spin!