Have you ever experienced that “impossible to explain” feeling of chemistry, connection, and attraction for another person? That intense energy may indicate that you are in the presence of a soulmate.
The term ‘soulmate’ may bring up strong feelings of joy for you. Or, you may find the term cringy and overly romanticized, like in the Tom Cruise/Renee Zellwegger Jerry Maguire moment. Either way, there tends to be a robust romantic suggestion tied to the term. You may also feel a sense of heightened anticipation, eagerly hoping to meet your soulmate in this lifetime.
What if you were to discover that there are several types of soulmates? If you believe in a loving, benevolent universe, soulmates are sent our way to enhance our lives and help us attain the highest version of ourselves. In the process, we get the chance to learn about love in all of its forms.
We may already have soulmates in our lives right now without even realizing it. These soulmates might not be obvious. But, on closer look, you may recognize them in the different relationships that impact you every day. Together they inform and enhance your life in so many ways.
Being open to viewing soulmates in all of their many facets allows us to have an expansive view of what they mean to us. The universe has sent them our way for a reason. Let’s take a look at some examples:
1. Friendship Soulmate
These are the friends that effortlessly come into our lives and meet us exactly where we are. There may be instant recognition. This person seamlessly flows into your life, and it feels like you’ve known them forever.
The sense of connection brings joy and fulfillment to our days. Celebrating special days like birthdays, weddings, and all other milestones with this person in the room makes life more meaningful and fulfilling. Likewise, this is the person you can pick up the phone and call at any moment to discuss day-to-day life.
I think of these relationships as being easy, with very little drama. There is a resonance, and the connection is effortless and smooth. As we traverse this earthly plane, we need people who accept us and understand us. We can enjoy life together with a sense of fun, play, and ease. The friendship soulmate is precisely that person.
For this, I’m thinking of Oprah and Gayle.
2. Karmic or Teacher Soulmate
The term karma refers to “the spiritual principle of cause and effect, often descriptively called the principle of karma, wherein an individual’s intent and actions (cause) influence that individual’s future (effect).” So, it seems that a karmic soulmate is someone who is energetically drawn into our lives to help us to clear our karma. Alternatively, this person’s presence is a gift (positive karma) that the universe graciously sends our way in gratitude as a reward for the pure, loving energy we’ve brought into the world.
These soulmates come into and out of our lives, sometimes in various forms. What they all have in common, hidden underneath, are lessons. When karma is painful, we learn where we’re carrying old wounds so that we can then begin to heal. When this soulmate brings positive karma, we get to witness and learn about the purity and power that a generous soul can have. We can see our kindness and beauty reflected in them.
Another commonality among these soulmates is that the relationship doesn’t last. They teach the lesson they came into our lives to teach, and then they disappear. This transience makes the interaction powerful, leaving an indelible mark on us. We can try to avoid this soulmate, but it won’t work. The lessons will just come in another form until learned. We need to remember that underneath all of this is love. Love is calling us to grow, evolve, and expand into who we are capable of being in this life.
I’m thinking of Carol and Therese in Carol.
3. Companion Soulmates
This relationship can be romantic or platonic, such as with a family member or friend. There is effortless ease within this partnership. The connection feels like “two birds of a feather.” You enjoy harmony and grace together. This feeling of easy connection is enduring.
If you haven’t met your twin flame, this soulmate provides many of the qualities you seek in a long-term relationship. Because you are wired similarly, life flows when you’re together. There’s something to be said for sharing similar perspectives on the things that matter. That’s what this person brings into your life.
This relationship has longevity. You will remain connected, even if you aren’t in a romantic union. The comfort and kindred energy you share will always guide to back toward each other. Although not as intense a connection, the relationship brings a lot of warmth, joy, and happiness into your life.
Here, I’m thinking of Sally and Harry in When Harry Met Sally.
4. The Wrecking Ball Soulmate
This soulmate is not someone who comes into our lives peacefully – they enter in to shake things up. There is a clear “before them” and “after them” distinction when we look back on our lives and realize that we are now a completely different person than the day we met them.
An experience with a wrecking ball soulmate provides a powerful opportunity for deep healing and growth. The relationship may be excruciating. Our wrecking ball soulmate holds up a mirror that forces us to see all of the things about ourselves that we typically avoid and don’t want to acknowledge or feel. This relationship will bring to the surface all of our insecurities. We can’t begin to heal these dysfunctional patterns until we know that they are there. The wrecking ball soulmate shines the light on them as a gift to us so that we can begin to heal and move forward.
This connection feels as though we’ve been ripped wide open. We may feel raw and uneasy after it’s had its way with us. But, by shining a light on places we need to grow and heal, this relationship has the potential to bring deep healing – after it’s over!
Here, I am thinking of Cindy and Dean from Blue Valentine.
5. The Lover Soulmate
When we cross over into intimate love without the enduring love and security of a deeper connection, we are in for a tumultuous experience in lover soulmate territory. The intimate component can bring out a more profound layer of emotional angst.
Eckhart Tolle says, “Unless and until you access the consciousness frequency of presence, all relationships, and particularly intimate relationships, are deeply flawed and ultimately dysfunctional.”
The relationships vacillate between feeling “in love” and feeling the myriad of negative emotions, including jealousy, anger, etc., that occur on the other side of those euphoric feelings. The relationships often swing back and forth between these two states.
There may be a lot of highs, but there will also be lows. Although there may be extended periods of happiness, this relationship won’t last. Through this relationship, we learn important lessons that will be meaningful down the road.
I’m thinking of Brooke and Gary from The Break-up.
6. Twin Flame Soulmate
According to Greek mythology, humans were created with four arms, four legs, and two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two parts, condemning them to spend their lives searching for their other halves.
The key to finding your twin soul, according to the experts, is experience: you are at a point where you are willing to do the work necessary to begin to attract this mystical other. It might even require the deep work of peeling away all of the layers that have previously blocked you from finding each other. This work is courageous and bold. But how can you recognize your “twin flame” when you don’t know yourself? It’s all part of the process.
It’s fabled that there are stages that you will go through. Some include: the first meeting, falling in love, turmoil, separation, and ultimately reunion. Therefore, when you have that moment of recognition, it doesn’t mean that it will be an effortless relationship. However, in the end, it will all be worth it. When you can finally live your lives together, you get to experience a love so pure and profound that everything will make sense. This love is a gift from above.
Not only will you be able to celebrate the love you’ve found in this lifetime, but you also feel the joy of knowing that you may find each other again and again in other lifetimes.
I’m thinking of Allie and Noah from The Notebook.
Soul Connections Are All Gifts
People come into our lives for a reason. In fact, of the almost eight billion souls on this planet – these are the unique souls who’ve come into your life. It’s fascinating! Seeing the opportunities, lessons, and love that these souls bring with them is a helpful key to experiencing gratitude for life’s many hidden gifts and surprises.
Regardless of which type, all soulmates help us grow and become more whole, more aware, and more deeply ourselves. Each offers a lesson, elevating us towards better things in our lives.
It All Comes Back to You
One of my favorite gurus, Byron Katie, says, “Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.” Our soulmates have a way of allowing us or dare I say, forcing us to have that look in the mirror. Through these interactions, we’re able to see ourselves more clearly. We can finally recognize our wounds, and where we go off-kilter. And we can connect with the joy that’s always been inside – it just needed to be seen, recognized, and set free.
Is a lack of forgiveness holding you back in your life? Read on to find tips to help you along the way.
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(This blog post was originally published on February 16, 2021, and has been updated for thoroughness and accuracy.)