Woman writing love letter to herself

How to Write a Love Letter to Yourself – And Why It’s Surprisingly Effective

How often, when something bothers us, do we look toward others in search of the words we need to hear? Why do we so easily forget that we are the ones who carry these messages?

We have access to an eternal, abundant source of love waiting to be received.

But how can you exchange this love within? One way is by learning how to write a love letter to yourself.

Start by grabbing an old-fashioned pen and paper and finding a relaxing place to sit and write.

Let’s start writing!

1. First, write the letter from the perspective that you need at the moment.

Consider writing from the perspective of a more trusting, secure, and spiritually connected version of yourself. Your letter could also be written by an older, wiser version of yourself who knows everything will be okay.

I recently read that Elizabeth Gilbert writes a letter to herself every morning from Love. You can also write a letter from God or your higher power. Whatever feels right for you is perfect.

Next, think about who needs to hear the message you’re sending. Is it the middle-aged you who’s going through a rough patch? Or is it your inner child who feels scared and unsure?

Write a love letter to yourself in a language from your heart.

2. Next, gently encourage yourself.

“Tell yourself that whatever storms you are having, like all storms, they are going to pass. Comfort yourself that after the storm, the view of the sun rising from the horizon is always a spectacular view” – Kind Over Matter.

Remind yourself that all things do pass. You’re loved beyond anything you can begin to imagine. Peace, joy, and contentment are just on the other side of this moment.

Sad woman - needing love letter to herself

3. At this time, address what’s been bothering you in the love letter to yourself.

Only you know yourself truly. Gently acknowledge what’s been weighing on your mind.

“I know this past year has been tough. Things did not work out the way you wanted them to at school. It’s disappointing to think about starting all over again.”

Hold space to get honest and explore what’s been on your mind and heart. As evidenced in the writing of morning pages, there is a profound connection between writing on paper and the subconscious mind.

Use this part of your letter as an opportunity to touch on the pain points you’re experiencing right now.

4. Embrace yourself with words of encouragement.

“Remind yourself that whatever pain you’re going through is only temporary, but the essence of joy you hold is eternal. Lift yourself.

Give yourself the compliment you’ve been yearning to see in words. (You are enough. You matter.)” – Elle Martin of Bella Grace Magazine.

Now is the time to speak directly to your heart.

In other words, think about what is it that you need to know? What words will lift your spirits?

For example, some ideas may include the following:

“I seldom tell you how much I love you. How much I admire you. How beautiful and caring and intelligent and strong you are. That you are my hero.” – Lori De La Cruz

Or:

I want you to know how proud I am of you. I see how much you have overcome. You are so wise – more than you know.

Your tenderness, kindness, and bravery are rare. You’re a beautiful person – in every way.

Woman smiling at herself in mirror

5. Recommit to yourself and the evolving process of loving yourself exactly where you are.

You experience being loved in your unique way. Write a love letter to yourself as a chance to speak in a language that connects with your spirit and soul.

With this intention, continue to explore what might make you feel loved right now.

You can add the sentence: “I know you feel loved when…”

“We all have unique ways of being loved and showing love—so take a second to examine your love languages and how you like to be celebrated. Once you’re done reflecting, don’t forget to put it into action,” from The Shine App.

This letter can serve as an open door to continuing to love yourself through whatever happens in your life.

It builds a relationship, a lasting connection, between you and your higher self.

6. Above all, a love letter to yourself offers a chance to feel held.

So, breathe in the relief and support you provide. Feel all the feels.

Often what you’re looking for most is self-acceptance. With this in mind, you may feel a wave of relief just by being heard and seen.

Without a doubt, you are here for yourself.

Remember that. You always have been and always will be.

 

So, what did you think of this story? Please let me know in the comments below!

Likewise, please share it with someone you love!

(This story was originally published on November 10, 2021, and has been updated for thoroughness and clarity.)

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  1. […] way to practice gifting yourself with generosity is writing a love letter to yourself. Seeing yourself as you are and in need of your love and approval may work […]

  2. […] taking exquisite care of. How would you want that child to feel at the end of the day? What kind of words would you use to speak kindly to her when she is anxious, tired, or […]

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