writing a love letter

How to Write a Love Letter to Yourself – And Why It’s Surprisingly Effective

How often, when something bothers us, do we look toward others in search of the words we need to hear? Why do we so easily forget that we ourselves carry these messages? We have access to an eternal, abundant source of love that’s waiting to be given to ourselves and received. How can you exchange this love within? One way is by learning how to write a love letter to yourself.

Start by grabbing the old fashioned pen and paper and finding a relaxing place to sit and write.

Let’s begin.

1. You can write the letter from the perspective that you need at the moment.

The letter can be written by a more trusting, secure, and spiritually connected version of yourself right now. Your letter could also be written by an older, wiser version of yourself that knows everything will be okay.

I recently read that Elizabeth Gilbert writes a letter to herself every morning from Love. You can also write a letter from God or your higher power. Whatever feels right is perfect.

Who needs to hear the message you’re sending? Is it the middle-aged you that’s going through a challenging rough patch, or is your inner child that feels scared and unsure?

Write a love letter to yourself in a language from your heart.

2. Gently encourage yourself first.

“Tell yourself that whatever storms you are having, like all storms, they are going to pass. Comfort yourself that after the storm, the view of the sun rising from the horizon is always a spectacular view” – Kind Over Matter.

It’s so helpful to remind yourself that all things do pass. You’re loved beyond anything you can even begin to imagine. Peace, joy, and contentment are just on the other side of this moment.

3. Address what’s been bothering you in the love letter to yourself.

Only you know yourself truly. Gently acknowledge what’s been weighing on your mind.

“I know this past year has been tough. Things did not work out the way you wanted them to at school. It’s so disappointing to have to think about starting all over again.”

Hold space for yourself to get honest and explore what’s been on your mind and heart. As evidenced in the writing of morning pages, there is a profound connection between writing on paper and the subconscious mind. Use this part of your letter as an opportunity to touch on the pain points you’re experiencing right now.

4. Embrace yourself with words of encouragement.

“Remind yourself that whatever pain you’re going through is only temporary, but the essence of joy you hold is eternal. Lift yourself. Give yourself the compliment you’ve been yearning to see in words. (You are enough. You matter.)” – Elle Martin of Bella Grace Magazine.

Now is the time to speak directly to your heart. What is it that you need to know? What words will lift your spirits?

Some ideas may include:

“I seldom tell you how much I love you. How much I admire you. How beautiful and caring and intelligent and strong you are. That you are my hero.” – Lori De La Cruz


I want you to know how proud I am of you. I see how much you have overcome. You are so wise – more than you know.

Your tenderness, kindness, and bravery are rare. You’re a beautiful person – in every way.

You are so pure of heart. I love who you are – more than you can ever imagine.

5. Recommit to yourself and to the evolving process of loving yourself exactly where you are.

You experience being loved in your own unique way. Write a love letter to yourself as a chance to speak to yourself in a language that connects with your spirit and soul.

Continue to explore what might make you feel loved right now. You can add the sentence: “I know you feel loved when…”

“We all have unique ways of being loved and showing love—so take a second to examine your love languages and how you like to be celebrated. Once you’re done reflecting, don’t forget to put it into action,” from The Shine App.

This letter can serve as an open door to continuing to love yourself through whatever is happening in your life. It serves to build a relationship, an abiding connection, between you and your higher self.

6. A love letter to yourself offers a chance to feel held.

Breathe in the relief and support you provide. Feel all the feels.

Often what you’re looking for most is self-acceptance. You may feel a wave of relief just by being heard and seen.

You are there for yourself. Remember that you always have been and always will be.


Ps: Do you like this idea? Please share with someone who might benefit from writing a letter like this today.

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  1. […] way to practice gifting yourself with generosity is writing a love letter to yourself. Seeing yourself as you are and in need of your love and approval may work […]

  2. […] taking exquisite care of. How would you want that child to feel at the end of the day? What kind of words would you use to speak kindly to her when she is anxious, tired, or […]

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