On Mother’s Day This Year, a Twist: 10 Steps to Mothering Yourself Today

Mother’s Day brings up a lot of emotion.

Although I’ve had many that were fulfilling, and I’ve also had my share that were bittersweet.

My mom lost her mother very young; my mom was only 25. So, although we always celebrated Mother’s Day, there were hints of painful memories left behind by my grandmother’s passing.

Most years, while my daughter was growing up, Mother’s Day was sweet, silly, and fun. Still, as a single parent for many years, I would walk by families celebrating together, feeling sad and yearning for a partner to share the holiday with.

There are so many feelings.

The one thing I know is that mothering isn’t just personal: It’s an expansive, all-encompassing, life-giving energy field.

I think of mothering as the ultimate loving, healing force in our world.

Thankfully, we can all access this powerful energy and harness it toward ourselves in whatever way we need. Today is an opportune day to pull it close and inwardly mother ourselves and acknowledge mothers in our lives.

Here are ten ways you can mother yourself because you deserve the same love, care, and attention you so freely give to others:

1. This second Sunday of May, start your day with gratitude.

I know this habit can be really hard to establish, but it works when I do it.

Before you even get out of bed, take a few moments to think about what you’re thankful for. This simple practice sets a positive tone for the day and shifts your focus to what enriches your life. Whether it’s your health, relationships, or accomplishments, acknowledging what you have to be grateful for will put a spring in your step.

Bonus idea for today: Watch this adorable movie, Gratitude Revealed.

You will have tears of gratitude rolling down your cheeks. Trust me!

See my favorite moments from the film here.

2. Do something kind for your body: See exercise today as a treat.

Whether it’s a yoga session, a brisk walk, or a dance party in your living room, take care of yourself by doing something… even if it is a quick burst.

I want to share one of my favorite things to do when I don’t feel like moving: pilates with Kristin McGee. I do her workouts on my Peloton app; sometimes, I do a 15-minute workout with her.

What makes her so great is her guidance throughout the class and the music she chooses to accompany it.

Trust me: You will love this.

3. Get outside – even if just for 20 minutes.

My recent book, which I shared with the blog, drives home the benefits of getting outside!

In her book, The Well-Gardened Mind, Anne Stuart Smith says, “Trees, parks, and gardens work on us gradually, softening our gaze. Everyone shifts a little bit closer toward empathy and human connection.”

She teaches that getting outside and into nature allows us to access different parts of our minds and that we can move into a state of awe and awareness with more ease.

We can feel softer and more at peace. We can find strength and solace in the trees surrounding and protecting us.

Read more of my favorite quotes from her book here.

4. Honor and express your feelings.

The ultimate tool in mothering yourself is honoring your feelings, and Bolte Taylor reminds us that even our most intense emotions last only 90 seconds.

So often, we choose to grin and bear it. We push our feelings down, only to find ourselves boiling over shortly after.

Take care of yourself by allowing yourself to feel everything you feel inside and to express your feelings in a safe and healthy way.

I found an unexpected way to express my feelings:

Several years ago, I attended a weekend retreat at Kripalu in Western MA. It was a Kundalini yoga/ art retreat weekend. At the time, I was only interested in the kundalini portion of the program, but the art project we did really blew my mind.

My instructor provided large white paper canvases and guided us to paint what we were feeling expressively. Needless to say,  it was incredible. I left lighter after that weekend, and I believe that workshop helped lift my energy and set me off on a path of new opportunities.

Check out this article to learn ways to express yourself through art.

5. Connect with loved ones.

Make time to connect with friends or family members, whether it’s a phone call, video chat, or in-person visit. It’s amazing what a quick visit can do to lift your spirits.

When I feel lonely, I try to remember that we are all connected energetically. In a spiritual sense, all minds are joined. So, if you’re away from loved ones, you can still celebrate Mother’s Day virtually. You can send love to others and feel their love in return.

No matter what is happening, you are not alone. You are loved.

Learn more about connecting energetically here.

6. Pamper yourself in some way.

Schedule some pampering time, whatever that looks like for you. If you’re anything like me, that could be a long bath, a great book, and a rom-com later in the day.

You can also make it a flower-filled holiday. Mother’s Day is the perfect opportunity to surround yourself with beautiful flowers. Treat yourself to a bouquet or visit a local flower garden.

What do you love to do? Do it today.

7. Set boundaries and say no to anything that isn’t a full-body yes.

Part of mothering yourself is setting boundaries. It’s okay to say no to things that drain your energy or take time away from activities that matter more to you. Remember, saying no to one thing means saying yes to something else – often, yourself.

Boundaries are hard! I’m not an expert by any means. But I understand their importance, and I’m working on this more as I write this.

Make it a Mother’s Day celebrated by remaining true to you.

8. Have one of your favorite indulgent meals.

I had to throw this one in there!

Plan your favorite brunch, or make a reservation and have your favorite meal.

Make a conscious effort to fuel your body with foods that make you feel good. Whether it’s a hearty breakfast, a smoothie packed with greens, or your favorite comfort food, eat something that brings you joy and energy.

Care for yourself by enjoying your meals today.

9. Practice mindfulness on Mother’s Day.

“As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love – even the most simple action.”
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

This Mother’s Day, commit to practicing mindfulness.

Whether you’re feeling excited or blue, taking a moment for mindfulness can bring deeper joy and fulfillment to your day.

Mindfulness can help reduce stress and anxiety, improve focus, and increase happiness. Try incorporating mindfulness practices into your daily routine, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, or gratitude journaling.

See some of my favorite meditations here.

10. End your day with reflection.

Before you go to sleep, take a few minutes to reflect on your day. Acknowledge three things you did well or that brought you joy. This practice helps cultivate a sense of accomplishment and gratitude.

Mothering yourself is key. It’s funny to think about, but just because we’re ‘adults’ and fly from the nest, it doesn’t mean that we no longer need to be mothered. I guess the key is to keep this precious, limitless mothering energy close.

No matter what life throws our way, we are there for ourselves. We can mother ourselves by trusting in the universal presence of love in our lives and nurturing ourselves with its power.

Maybe it’s time to see Mother’s Day as the excuse we’ve been waiting for to truly show up and be there lovingly for ourselves. We can guide ourselves with unconditional love, mixed with some wellness and a few boundaries, too. :-)

So, what will you do today on Mother’s Day?

Whatever your plans, take the opportunity to slow down and truly appreciate yourself.

And, wherever you are, Happy Mother’s Day.

( I am not a licensed mental health professional. I am sharing ideas that have worked for me. Please get in touch with a mental health professional for care if you need support.)